"Stiles!" Scott races across the courtyard after his friend, "What the hell?"
"It’s okay, I’ve got this," Stiles promises, smashing his elbow into the glass and wincing. "Wow, they never make it look like it hurts in the movies."
"That’s because they’re movies! We are not in a movie, what are you—”
"Relax, Scotty," Stiles pokes away glass, picks out the rose and rolls back his shoulders, "I just have to go give this to someone…"
He strides away without another word, back across the paving stones to where there’s a guy sitting eating a baguette in the neatest way Scott’s ever seen. He’s wearing a faded t-shirt with the Star Wars credits on the back— Scott thinks, he’s still not seen them— dark jeans and boots. Scott doesn’t totally understand why this guy, of all the attractive people in the world, but, then he looks up as Stiles approaches.
Scott’s pretty sure cheese falls out of his mouth.
Chris Pratt Interrupts Interview To French Braid Intern’s Hair
SHUT THE HELL U P
this man has gone too far
Where does Marvel FIND these people?
Imagine - Chris Pratt and Jeremy Renner show up to your door the night of prom and your parents are like WHY DO YOU HAVE TWO DATES AND WHY ARE THEY SO BIG AND BEEFY AND INTIMIDATING but Chris is just like “Nah I’m hair” and Jeremy raises his hand and says “And I’m makeup”
surprisingly well done
If this doesn’t result in an AU where Hawkeye and Star-Lord decide to retire and open a salon together, I don’t know what we’re all doing with our lives.
Great now I have a headcanon where Prince Peter Quill learned how to braid hair because the head butlers daughter liked braiding his hair, and Clint Barton learned how to do make up in the circus because he helped the acrobats and the bearded lady with their make up after his act.
X-Men: First Class AU
The Angry Divorce
Scotland Yard’s finest (and sometimes angriest) police officer, Charles Xavier is having a break-down. His husband, Erik Lensherr (respected defense attorney) has suddenly decided they might need to get a divorce. Charles suspects that Erik’s fucking the new young guy at the office. And now their arguments are getting worse.
Erik has finally decided that he doesn’t think their marriage is salvageable. Erik wants a divorce; and Charles’ response is, “...over my dead fucking body”.
I will only stop reblogging this once somebody writes this
Yeah< I saw this appear again on my Tumblr and figured I need to write this…
But this will be one angry fucking story. This Charles Xavier is going to be a total cunt. Sorry fans. LOL
OH PLEASE PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHEN IT’S POSTED
i need filth-ish!Charles
tygermama replied to your post:still pining for an epic Dori/Vita romance, dear. *flutters eyelashes at you*So here’s the thing. When Bucky and Steve first moved into Bag End Apartment, there was EPIC PINING going on between Vida and Dori, okay? It was like the talk of the entire building and the only ones unaware of the whole thing were Vida and Dori themselves.some days I feel very lucky I live in Canada so you can’t come smack me upside the head :D
Ori’s one of the first guys to make friends with Steve and mainly because they both found out they like sketching and they both wander around with sketchbooks in hand. Also, Steve essentially ran into Ori after Ori was getting into trouble against some neighborhood bullies who were razzing him about his “weirdo fag brothers and maybe you’re a cock!#$!#$! yourself, huh?” And Ori, because this is ORI, remember, was standing his ground and fighting back.
When Bucky heard about this, he pretty much just dropped his head into his hands and went, “Christ, another one of you?”
But okay, Ori’s welcome to hang out with them anytime.
And Nori heard about this and quietly kicked some ass and made sure those particular guys didn’t do anything but be respectful of the people in the neighborhood, regardless of sexual orientation or whatever else they felt like picking on.
Dori being Dori, promptly did the neighborly thing and brought our Super Soldier Boyfriends some food and we all know Dori can bake like nobody’s business.
Now as for Vida - well, Vida happened on Bucky while the latter was pretty much banging his head on the wall over Steve - the boys had a bit of a tiff and Bucky ran out of the apartment to cool off. So Vida became a listening ear for Bucky, invited him back to her apartment for tea and was mainly the reason why Bucky would later come home, wrap his arms around Steve and mutter, “I’m sorry I’ve been a fathead lately.”
And Steve kinda sort of mock pouts at him because “You beat me to the apology. I should be sorry.”
"Are we actually going to argue about who’s fault it is when we could be just skip that and get to the kissing and the other good stuff instead?"
So it is NO SURPRISE that the Boys were Ground Zero for this whole Dori/Vida thing and eventually they both heard both sides of this argument. Steve offered Dori some of Bucky’s Super Sekrit Stash of VODKA for this because, OMG, so epic. And okay, so Vida and Bucky had their own episode of “let’s get drunk because omg why are men so impossible, whyyyyyyy.”
Nat, btw, is dying, dying of laughter at our boys because “it is like the blind leading the blind.” But she is shamelessly encouraging the matchmaking.
And finally, Steve Rogers puts that fine strategical mind of his to action and helps organize a Vida/Dori DATE, which involved inviting our lovely couple to an art exhibition and Bucky got them actual opera tickets, because Vida and Dori are huge opera fans and okay, this involved Bucky putting on some epic charm to get those tickets and hey, he hasn’t lost his touch after all. They got landlord Bilbo to get reservations for one of the nicer restaurants in the city, which was known for its superb Italian food and basically? The Date was utter magic.
Dori was an utter gentleman, at least until Vida finally laid one serious Kiss on him and well, Mission Accomplished, right there folks.
Nat is so very, very proud of her matchmakers in training.
- end -
Love leaves you desperate and feeling a fool.
Love makes you ruthless and love makes you cruel.
And love makes you crazy with nothing but lies.
Love promises nothing and then your love dies.
A sequel to A Prelude.
Thor often chose to visit him in the summer, for his golden skin was not made to withstand the cruel winters of Loki’s homeland. They would hunt together and feast together, tell stories and sing songs, spar and play and roam the land. Sometimes they bickered and came to blows, but no argument ever kept them from fucking for days on end, taking pleasure from each other’s bodies until their youthful lust was sated.
that fucking post about sasuke’s protective arm socks is a serious game changer, man
because this undermines the basic premise that gave rise to an entire generation’s worth of highschool AU fanfiction and cosplay where sasuke was always like
when all along
he was a huge nerd
*gasps* Mother! Aunt Ayra….Is she fighting…honorably?
……………..Wave to your aunt, my sweetling.
Haha, let’s pretend in an Winterfell/AU far, far away that Arya and Sandor’s trainings quickly turn into scuffles, and Sansa is constantly lecturing her lord husband and sister on nobility and honor, all for naught of course.
Why not let my first post on Tumblr be a promotion of my first fic? :D
Since being wed to Thor a few moons ago, he had been regularly amazed that the Æsir were not the brutes his people had made them out to be. Loki was in for another surprise.
Or, Thor and Loki fuck, then talk (and fuck some more).
Read here on AO3.
WOW JENN WHY DOESN’T THIS SURPRISE ME?
SEND ME A SHIP AND I’LL TELL YOU:
Who’s more dominant: Thor would like to think it’s him, but Loki’s got that poor Asgardian wrapped around his finger. Thor, in public, comes off as the more dominant role while Loki sits back and lets it happen, only questioning Thor’s authority with snide remarks and jokes. But in private? Thor is most definitely the definition of whipped. At first, he tried the whole ‘/I’M/ the future king, Loki, how dare you *insert whatever Loki’s form of torture against Thor that day is* to me!” but it became evident very quickly that Loki was having none of that, and used his intelligence to his advantage to get Thor to soften up and figuratively leash the poor God.
Who’s the cuddler: It depends. When Thor returns from a battle, bloodied and shell shocked, Loki simply sighs and puts down his book or task to take Thor into the wash rooms and clean the other from the blood that was crusting his skin after discarding his obviously ruined clothes to let the maids take care of them. That night, Thor silently lets Loki tuck the blond beneath his arms and Thor takes pleasure in burying his face in Loki’s neck and breathing in the scent of something familiar that would rid his nose of the coppery scent. Most other nights Loki is the one who gets dragged to bed by Thor, pretending not to be interested at first, but soon finds himself pressed securely against Thor’s chest and falling asleep with a smile.
Who’s the big spoon/little spoon: Loki’s the little spoon only because when he attempts to stretch his surface area around Thor’s bulky back the stupid position leaves Loki in agony for a few days from the awkward position of his back. Thor doesn’t complain though, he likes when Loki is the little spoon, it’s probably the most submissive the Juton will be for Thor without ruining it with his silly little tricks.
What’s their favorite non-sexual activity: Sparring, shockingly enough. This gives Thor the ability to push Loki physically with his hand to hand techniques while Loki is given the ability to test Thor’s mental stability and sharpness with his illusions and quick come backs to the moves Thor unleashes on him. Though, let’s admit, by the end of it they’re both sweaty and laid out on the mats, panting with a childish happiness that don’t usually indulge in nor talk about. It regularly ends in sex though-
Who cooks: If it’s not a meal served by the chefs, then Loki. Sometimes they’ll both grow hungry for more than the snacks left around their home and Thor will beg (with kisses and sweet words that Loki squishes his face up at and scoffs in return to but secretly loves) Loki to make him something ‘suitable for a king to eat’ which makes Loki laugh out loud and saunter off to the kitchen to make them both something to eat while sneaking behind the staff to avoid trouble. Thor has no sense of purpose in the kitchen, he absolutely is awful. Burns everything he touches and or over waters it.
Who comes home drunk at 3am: Thor. He has a bad habit of drinking with Sif and the warriors three until the crack of dawn. Loki has fallen asleep alone many nights and woken up at the ridiculous hours of the morning to a drunk Thor trying to sneak (very loudly) into their bed chambers but /somehow/ always waking Loki in the process.
Who kills the spiders: Neither. Spiders don’t bother Thor and Loki doesn’t like taking life from innocent creatures who have done nothing, such as spiders or bugs.
Who falls asleep first: Thor. Loki is much better with conservation of energy and normally can manage to stay awake a few hours longer than Thor, who wears himself out helping the people of Asgard with chores they don’t have the strength to do and fooling around at the arena.
A head canon: After Loki started studying more into Herbs and uses of magic through plants, he showed Thor his unknown talent for up keeping plants. Thor has quite a green thumb, and even dedicated an entire room to his and Loki’s plant growing. Loki pretends to be involved, but once he had learned all he could from the plants he dropped interest. The room is mostly Thor’s now, but Loki enjoys that Thor has such a harmless hobby.
Their relationship summed up in a gif:
———Frigga isn’t dead. But her return to Asgard is not what Loki was expecting. And now it is time for him to choose what he really wants.
For the first time since they were children he felt like he and Thor were equals. Partners. Two sides of the same force that would rule over Asgard and set their own form of order about the nine realms. Even if Thor’s order involved a hammer and Loki’s involved a carefully crafted half-truth. This was what Frigga had meant by him being true to his nature and still succeeding.
Do you expect me to talk?
No, Ms. Bond. I expect you to die!
<SPOILER> Grampy and Papa are both still alive!
All right, so I haven’t gotten around to actually getting this sorted out, so please note I might do some changes. But this is what I’ve got so far:
a. Grampy - a.k.a. Count Vlad Tepes Dracula is a combination of Gabriel Belmont (Castlevania: Lords of Shadow), Castlevania: Symphony of the Night Dracula and HELL YES I’m going to be SHAMELESSLY pillaging characterizations from my favorite Draculas - Christopher Lee, Gary Oldman, Hellsing!Alucard and Luke Evans’ upcoming take on the iconic character.
Grampy is very much alive. He fell into an extended hibernation after a particularly nasty encounter with one of HYDRA’s pet vampire lords - Grampy got the guy, but he was seriously wounded in the process. So Grampy wasn’t around to help his favorite grandson and future grandson in their adventures. When Grampy woke up in our century and found out the whole Winter Soldier thing? He was pissed. Thus, Roaring Rampage of Revenge.
Grampy’s name in the U.S. is Gabriel Belmont Barnes. *** snicker ***
So far, my Grampy Muse is a bit of a nutter, very mischievous and there’s a very good reason why it’s called the Patented Barnes Swagger. Grandson Bucky is definitely a chip off the old block and has it down pat.
2. Papa - a.k.a. Adrian Fahrenheight Tepes Dracula or in the U.S., Adrian Barnes is, of course, Alucard of Castlevania: Symphony of the Night fame.
Adrian disappeared a lot earlier from Bucky’s life - much to his everlasting regret, because he adores his kids - and may just be about to wake up. Bucky’s Mom died a long time ago, but people tend to reincarnate in the Blanket Fort universe, so she may turn up eventually, just as a different person.
Adrian’s not going to be too happy about what happened to his boy either. While he’s not into impalement as a means of vengeance, he does know all sorts of very nasty tricks up his sleeve. Anyone who plays the SoTN game might want to recall what he did to that Succubus who impersonated his Mom….
Adrian is a little more “dignified” than his own father (let’s say Adrian tends to facepalm a lot when his father is in one of his Moods, so he totally will BOND with Pepper in a “OMG HI NEW BFF” kinda way, because Pepper has a Tony and Vlad is a bit like Tony too). We will note that Adrian is the reason why Bucky can do “mysterious and broody” so very well.
3. Bucky’s Sisters - I’m still on the fence on how to get this done. CATWS says Bucky is the eldest of four children but we haven’t a clue what happened to the other Barnes siblings. Rebecca is the only Barnes kid I’ve seen pop up on comic wiki so far. There’s a few fics handling this that I do love so I might take inspiration from that. The girls were taken away by Maria when Bucky was about twelve or thirteen (I may have to fix my timelines) when the family was threatened by what we’ll eventually find out was a vampire lord working in concert with HYDRA (That’s the same guy Grampy ended up defeating later).
Maria would have taken Bucky along but Grampy knew Bucky couldn’t be taken away from Steve - he’d seen how the boys were bonding - and Bucky’s dhampir nature woke up a lot faster because he had his future mate to protect. The girls at this point in time were still very human and very very young and their abilities were “asleep” as it were.
Maria and the girls had to change their names but Maria died of an illness and the eldest Barnes girl, Sophia, had to stand in as “mom” to her two younger siblings. She tried to trace her brother Bucky and Grampy but lost touch with them. She isn’t sure if the “Bucky Barnes” of the Howling Commandos fame is her long-lost brother, because she had been very young when the family was split up and her memories of Bucky are iffy at best.
Vicky, the middle child, became a WWII Army nurse in the Pacific and actually won a Silver Star. She was stationed in the Philippines and saved her patients - which consisted of a dozen American soldiers and seven Filipino civilians, from a sudden attack by Japanese soldiers. Without any real training in firearms, Vicky grabbed a gun and shot all of the enemy down.
Becky, the youngest, was basically a kid during WWII and her sisters’ desire to reconnect with their family is the reason why she became a historian. She’s been trying for years - although privately - to determine if Bucky Barnes is their brother but the lack of a body to bury made it impossible for them to be sure, so they couldn’t do any DNA tests, once those became possible. Of course, she’s pretty damn horrified at the news regarding the Winter Soldier and well, Becky’s not sure how she’s going to reach out to this guy now rumored to be a future Avenger, who she doesn’t even remember.
All three of Bucky’s sisters are alive. They’ve all aged, but they’re still very healthy and active. Vicky is a bit of a surprise since she looks like she’s in her seventies but is actually 90 years old.
Sophia was born in 1922, Vicky in 1924 and Becky in 1928.
(The girls’ dhampir abilities are all latent, except for Vicky, which is partially awake. Time will tell if their abilities will wake up fully.)
4. The Barnes Family - The girls all have lots of great-grandchildren between them and y’know, it’s not far out of the realms of possibility for Bucky and Steve to encounter anyone of this brood. Why, they might even be babysitting an unknown great-niece right now as we speak….
"It’s kind of hilarious how much this little one looks like you, Bucks."
"Uh, yeah, no, I’m pretty sure I’m not this kid’s papa seeing as I’m pretty sure I spent that time being a frozen popsicle."
"Funny. She kind of reminds me of your sister Becky too, when she was a kid. Look at that, same smile and she was such a happy baby too."
"I thought we agreed that our babies were just going to be teddy bears, Steve."
"I’m not getting any fancy ideas, Bucko. I’m just happy babysitting this little lady every now and then and all I’m saying is how much she resembles you and your sister. You ever think about your sisters?"
"Sometimes. We’ve never been able to find them, y’know? I just hope they made it out all right or they’re all right now, if any of them are alive."